Oct 30, 2020
This is The Babylon Bee Weekly
News Show for the week of 10/30/2020.
In this Spooky episode of The
Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the Babylon Bee
being mentioned at the Senate hearings and the week’s top stories
like another amazing Guinness World Record that Kyle gets so
excited about, ACB ordering all Nation’s Women to Wear Handmaid’s
Outfits, Democrats Proposing to stop Coyotes by distracting them
with Decoy Roadrunners, and after Thanksgiving being banned,
Californians turning to Turkey Barbecues in Honor of Black Lives
Matter. Kyle and Ethan also share their favorite Horror Movies, TV
Shows, and Books all in time for you to enjoy them before
Halloween. Tune in for more weird news, cool stories, a trip to the
mailbag and, of course, glorious hate mail.
Be sure to check out
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This episode is brought to you
by Small Group The Movie.
Introduction
Kyle and Ethan joke about Jack
Dorsey dressing as a homeless man during his remote senate hearings
and being referenced at the Senate hearings.
Stuff That’s Good
Kyle likes Geeks Under
Grace
Ethan likes Flor De Selva
cigars
Weird News
- He
began the feat back in 1965, which is when Gum chains were quite
popular
- Gary’s record breaking chain came in at a mind
boggling 106,810 ft.
- Gary
says as someone with no special skills that he has to do a lot of
hard work in order to succeed in getting a world record
- Lisa
Landon used the state’s electronic system to drop the charges and
submitted fake documents in three separate criminal cases last
year.
- A
forensic examiner who was supposed to perform a competency
evaluation on her, noticed the charges were
dropped.
- Landon also falsified a judge’s decision to
waive a filing fee and faked an order in a child custody case
involving her child and a family member
- According to the passenger named Alicia
Beverly, told police she woke up on the plane around 2:45am to find
a man urinating on her.
- After
Beverly yelled ‘He peed on me,’ the Pastor said “I peed on her, I
thought I was going to the bathroom”
- After
dumping the eels in the lake, the man walked away, explaining to
bystanders that “I just want to save lives”
- New
York has a long history of people releasing animals. In 1890,
Shakespeare enthusiasts released a flock of 60 European
starlings(birds) that destroyed crops and snarl jet
engines
- Gross
was frustrated that he was forced by the city to take down a series
of lighting and netting that blocked the neighbors
view.
- The
neighbor told Gross to turn the music down and he responded “Peace
on all fronts or we’ll just have nightly concerts big
boy”
- At a
trunk or treat where kids would get candy through their windows,
Police reported that a mother called after she found a resealable
plastic bag with four blue pills and a white tablet in her child’s
bag of candy
- Recommended to parents to go through their
children’s candy piece by piece before they eat any of
it
- Man rides bicycle with no hands playing guitar while in a
headless horseman costume
- Bicyclist says he has started to play the trumpet instead of
the guitar on some days
- He has fallen, he said, but no serious falls as the headless
horseman though
Story 1
Newly Sworn-In ACB Immediately
Orders All Nation's Women To Wear Handmaid's Outfit
Summary:WASHINGTON, D.C.—After being sworn in as a
Supreme Court justice, Amy Coney Barrett immediately issued a
decree that all women are to wear red handmaid's outfits for the
rest of their lives.
"Execute papal order 66," she
said, her eyes glowing red. "Implement the theocratic
state."
- ACB
was confirmed on a party line vote in the Senate 52-48 with only
one Republican Susan Collins voting NO.
-
'No': Graham Shuts Down Democrats'
Attempts to Delay ACB Vote
-
- Graham says that after what they did to
Kavanaugh he is a changed man and didn’t seem to have any tolerance
for what they were trying to do.
- Democrat
Harry Reid got rid of the rule requiring a supermajority
to end debate over a nominee in 2013 so these narrow votes are able
to get through.
Story 2
Democrats Propose Stopping
Coyotes By Distracting Them With Decoy Roadrunners
Summary: After
Trump brought attention to the coyote epidemic at the southern
border during the debates, Democrats on Twitter are offering unique
solutions to the problem, such as setting up decoy roadrunners to
distract the coyotes.
Trump brought up coyotes
bringing immigrants over the border. Liberals freaked out on
Twitter and it was hilarious.
https://twitter.com/SophNar0747/status/1319524700721192967
USA Today Factcheck:
Fact check: Trump did not mean
actual 'coyotes' take children across the border
A "coyote," also known as "el
coyote" is a term for people who smuggle others across borders in
exchange for payment.
Story 3
After Thanksgiving Banned,
Californians To Hold Turkey Barbecues In Honor Of Black Lives
Matter On November 26
Summary: CALIFORNIA—Gavin Newsom has effectively banned
Thanksgiving from California, requiring celebrating households to
have only a few people, no bathroom usage, two-hour maximums, and
individual plates.
Californians all announced they
are complying with the plan and instead of celebrating Thanksgiving
will be holding Black Lives Matter turkey barbecues scheduled,
coincidentally, for November 26.
Topic of the Week
Scary Stuff We Like
Ethan:
Movies:
Exorcism of Emily
Rose
Evil Dead 2 and Army of
Darkness
Bad Taste, Dead Alive
(Braindead)
The Babadook
Troll 2
Birdemic
the Thing (Kurt
Russell)
Get Out
Shaun of the Dead
Gremlins
Spielberg’s War of the
Worlds
The Monster Squad
Riki Oh
Dead Heat
Books:
Brave Ollie Possum!
Babylon Bee Writers recommend
the Cat which has a kung fu fight between a cat and dog
Kyle:
Movies:
- New
Blumhouse series - The Lie, Black Box, Nocturne, Evil
Eye.
- It
Follows
- The
Witch
- Misery
- The
Shining
- Cabin
in the Woods
- Happy
Death Day
- Alien
- Get
Out
- The
Invisible Man
- A
Quiet Place
- 2017’s It
- Zombieland
- Color
Out of Space
- 1922
- Doctor Sleep
- Black
Sheep
Books:
- The
Shining
- Pet
Sematary
- Misery
- Salem’s Lot
- Frankenstein
- Something Wicked This Way Comes
- Carrie
- Lovecraft: At the Mountains of Madness, The
Festival, The Rats in the Walls, The Shadow over Innsmouth, Colour
out of Space
Hate Mail
Check out some of the best Hate
Tweets that are doing their best at hurting Kyle and Ethan’s
feelings.
Subscriber Lounge
- Behind the Scenes Update of the Studio being
installed
- Updates on the Babylon Bee Book being sent out
- Kyle and Ethan read from the mailbag about their experiences
with Christian Worship music
- Bonus hate mail from a reader that discourages Lebron wearing
Lace to Basketball games
- Exclusive cool Ethan and Kyle stories
- Email your cool stories for subscriber exclusive reading to
podcast@babylonbee.com