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The only authorized and inerrant podcast of The Babylon Bee.

Oct 16, 2020

This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 10/16/2020.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like ACB using a crucifix to defend herself from the Senate, Los Angeles allowing a large religious gathering after the Lakers win, and Biden telling voters they don’t deserve to know if he will enact a glorious communist utopia if elected. Kyle and Ethan also talk about the angry comments on the New York Times piece on The Babylon Bee and how dictionaries now are engaging in gaslighting the populace.

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Welcome to The Babylon Bee where we talk about the news and have an animation playlist on YouTube...

Stuff That’s Good

Kyle likes Stephen King’s On Writing.

Ethan likes Gran Torino.

Weird News

Herd of charging cows in England kill second man in month


  • Police are looking for witnesses to help with the investigation in who’s causing the charging cows 


 Thai hotel seeks deal with guest facing jail over bad reviews 


  • Thailand’s criminal defamation and computer crimes acts, he could be fined up to 100,000 baht ($3,200) as well as facing jail time. 
  • Reviewer said he was mad about a 500 baht ($16) corkage fee


Reporter confronts aggressive raccoon outside White House


  • The incident was not the first confrontation between the media and racoons at the White House. 
  • Reporter quoted “Frickin’ raccoons, man. God, again! This is the second time! Jesus...It always comes around right around when I’m about to go on TV...get!


Ex-jail employees charged for playing ‘Baby Shark’ on repeat


  • Jail employees forced inmates to stand handcuffed for hours and listen to “Baby Shark” on repeat


Stories of the Week

Story 1 

Democrats Hiss In Terror As ACB Pulls Out Crucifix

Summary:  Amy Coney Barrett has eloquently defended herself through the Senate confirmation hearings this morning. But as Dems grew increasingly vicious, she was forced to turn to desperate measures. After several hours of hearings, Barrett pulled out a large crucifix and held it aloft. A light shone from the heavens, and the Democrats knew they were defeated.

  • ACB took questions beginning Monday from the Senate about her judicial philosophy of originalism and how she would decide on cases related to the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) and Roe V Wade.
  • "I've made no commitment to anyone, not in this Senate, not over in the White House, about how I would decide any case,” said Judge Amy Coney Barrett “I’m not willing to make a deal, not with this committee, not with the President.”
  • Sen. Mazie Hirono asks ACB "since you became a legal adult, have you ever made unwanted requests for sexual favors or committed any verbal or physical harassment or assault of a sexual nature?"
  • @Erikrosalesnews tweeted: What is so amazing, Judge Amy Coney Barrett is testifying with only a small note pad and a pencil. She is a former law professor who is often correcting Senators on the details of the cases headed to the Supreme Court. She is schooling lawmakers.
  • When she was confirmed as a Federal judge 3 years ago, Sen. Diane Feinstein said, “The dogma lives loudly with you.”
  • The new Dem talking point is to scream loudly about Court Packing which nominating ACB is not. Here’s Dan Rather to illustrate.

Story 2

L.A. Mayor Allows Large Religious Gathering Outside Staples Center

Summary: Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti, having opposed large religious gatherings in his city for the past 7 months, has suddenly reversed course, allowing a large worship service to take place in the streets of the city last night. Despite the ban on religious gatherings, the worshipers came together to honor their god, LeBron James, in a spontaneous outpouring of love and praise. Worshipers in this religion, rather than singing songs or saying prayers, topple cars and throw things at the police.

  • Mayor Garcetti and Governor Gavin Newsom have famously been harassing churches that try to meet in defiance of the social distancing rules like Grace Community Church and John MacArthur
  • They seemingly have no problem with BLM/ANTIFA marches and now everyone massing in the streets to celebrate the Lakers winning the NBA championship
  • Did anyone watch it? There’s no salvaging these awful NBA Finals ratings

Story 3

Biden: 'I Won't Reveal Whether I Plan On Abolishing The Constitution And Establishing A Glorious Communist Utopia Until After I'm Elected'

Summary: Joe Biden was asked yet again today if he plans to abolish the Constitution, overthrow Congress, dismiss the Supreme Court, and set up a Communist regime to take their place. Once again, Biden refused to answer the question, saying voters will find out whether he plans to seize the means of production and institute a one-party rule, U.S.S.R.-style.

"Look, if I tell you whether or not I plan to institute a new Communist order, establishing a glorious worker-led revolution that will lead us out of this capitalistic nightmare and into a paradisical utopia, that would become the headline," Biden said. "That would be playing Trump's game. So I'm not going to say whether I support this great idea."

Topic of the Week: Even the dictionaries are beginning to gaslight people. The dictionary changed a word because of a moment at the ACB SCOTUS hearing to make something she said “offensive.”


  • Kyle’s Orwell tweet about the definition being changed in a day to make ‘sexual preference’ defined as ‘offensive


Hate Mail

Sit back for these awesome comments to the recent NYT mostly peaceful piece on The Babylon Bee. Their readers were not happy.

Subscriber Portion

Kyle and Ethan talk about peanuts and a terrible yard sign you’ve probably seen around town.