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The only authorized and inerrant podcast of The Babylon Bee.

Jan 23, 2021

From the heart of the Shire, through the depths of Moria, to the ends of Middle-Earth, it’s The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings! In this episode of The Babylon Bee Reads, Kyle and Dan are joined by Jonathan Watson, creator alongside his two friends of TheOneRing.Com, which can also be followed on Facebook. Kyle, Dan, and Jon continue their fellowship in reading through The Fellowship of the Ring, this time in Chapter 3 Three’s Company, where three hobbits encounter black riders and elves in their very own Shire.  

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The story so far: The Shadow of the past summary- Gandalf has told Frodo all about The Ring and that he is no longer safe in the Shire. Samwise is recruited to accompany Frodo.

In this chapter:

Frodo has to slip out of the Shire unnoticed so he hatches a plan of pretending to move to a new house in Crickhollow beyond/near Buckland where his Brandybuck side lives while the plan is really to make for Rivendell.

Plans to leave on his 50th birthday

Life lesson: “What is to be my quest? Bilbo went to find a treasure, there and back again; but I go to lose one, and not return, as far as I can see.’ ‘But you cannot see very far,’ said Gandalf.

Something spooks Gandalf who leaves suddenly to try to get news/ he tells Frodo to not use the ring! He promises to be back in time for the birthday party and to set off with Frodo (this does not happen- dang wizards).

Frodo’s wine is not included in the sale of Bag End to the dreaded S.-B.s. and does not offer her any tea when Lobelia comes with an inventory list.

Frodo leaves for a leisurely night hike to set out with Sam and Pippin and hears unpleasant voice asking about him at the Gamgees. They get their packs and Sam says farewell to the beer barrel in the cellar.

Sam’s character: ‘I am sure you have given me all the heaviest stuff,’ said Frodo. ‘I pity snails, and all that carry their homes on their backs.’ ‘I could take a lot more yet, sir. My packet is quite light,’ said Sam stoutly and untruthfully.

They walk, encamp, banter, eat, walk, eat, walk on a southern side road running through hill country eastward when they hear hooves coming up behind them. Frodo wants them to hide and “curiosity or some other feeling was struggling with his desire to hide.” The rider seems to have an invisible nose and is using it to smell for someone. They begin traveling alongside the road a stone’s throw to avoid detection.

They encounter a rider again and then run into the elves who take them to a wood hall. Gildor!

The Black riders are scared of the elves. 

The hobbits see the distinction between the Black Riders and the Elves. 

What is the significance of the songs they sing in this chapter?

Gildor offers protection for the hobbits and is impressed with Frodo, naming him “Elf Friend.” Gildor tells Frodo and the hobbits to carry on without Gandalf and to avoid the black riders. 

Gildor tells the hobbits that he’ll send word to any other allies about his journey, although Frodo will discover that the elves are increasingly leaving Middle Earth. 

The Babylon Bee Reads LOTR Inn & Pub


We receive powerful testimony the brings up question about what money is used in the Shire

On Fairy Stories and Eucatastrophe.

The Will of the Ring.